Updated: Aug 3, 2021
Have you ever caught yourself in the act of reacting just the same way that you have in similar situations from the past? For example, say that someone contradicts you and that has always triggered you to get defensive. Many times, what ends up happening is that we simply avoid these situations so that we are not triggered, which results in us limiting the range of experiences that you can have in your life. Other times, we simply keep repeating the same patterns until we damage our relationships and affect many aspects of our life as a consequence. Then, one day you take that little step back and catch yourself in the action, just noticing how you repeat a similar pattern over and over. Congratulations! This little instance of awareness is a great opportunity to finally make a change in your life.
As our actions and reactions are based on our thoughts and the resulting feelings, every minute that passes, and especially situations that tend to trigger us, are opportunities to align ourselves to our higher self by giving us the chance to take conscious action.
Many people tend to think that if they do not react, they are repressing their emotions and are not acting according to who they are. However, that could not be farther from the truth. Those emotions are simple reflections of distorted belief systems that have been created through our life’s experiences. Those experiences happened to us, therefore, they are not us! If these beliefs and emotional reactions were learned from outside experiences, then that means that they cannot be a reflection of who we are, unless we identify ourselves with them and with our minds. But as you might have already heard, we are not the mind, nor are we its thoughts and emotions. We are instead the consciousness that is behind the mind and behind all of those emotional reactions, the observer behind our eyes, and that consciousness is pure peace, bliss, compassion and unconditional love.
Thus, by reacting in ways that are not aligned to your higher self, you are giving in to your own identification to the mind, i.e., to the ego, which can make you act in ways that harm you or those around you. On the other hand, taking conscious action in view of uncomfortable emotions is to take your life into your own hands and to tell the ego that you, the consciousness behind it, are the one in the driver’s seat. You can do this by placing your awareness on your consciousness at moments where you tend to react so that you give these emotions enough time to subside, and then, once you feel calmer, ask yourself: "considering the greater good, what would "love" do?" If you do this consciously and from your heart, every action that you take thereafter will be in alignment with your higher self and will serve your greater purpose.
Quoting Don Miguel Ruiz in his book The Four Agreements: “To refrain is not the same thing as repression. To refrain is to hold the emotions and to express them in the right moment, not before, not later.” Once you have managed to observe your consciousness as well as your emotions and have allowed the latter to diminish by themselves, you have the possibility of expressing your emotions in a healthy way aligned with your essence, such as describing them to someone, looking for a solution to that which bothers you, writing how you feel, etc.
Thus, every moment, and especially moments that tend to irritate you, are opportunities to go back within you, the infinite place where all possibilities exist, and to take conscious action instead of simply reacting to what happens outside of you. In time and with practice, it will become a lot easier, as you will be able to observe and feel your emotions before reacting to them, giving them enough time to subside so that you can act consciously and aligned to your higher self.
If you need help mastering yourself and dealing with strong emotional reactions, do not hesitate to write to me at email@example.com or check out my social media links at the bottom of the page for more useful information to master yourself.